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Sex Advice – The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

22nd October 2015 · 7:00pm - 9:00pm

In person | Virtual event

 Sex Advice – The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Dr. Meg John Barker on ‘How to have a threesome without having a threesome: Sex Advice – the good, the bad and the ugly’

In this presentation, Meg John Barker describes her recent analysis of popular sex advice books, websites, and newspaper problem pages.

Much sex advice is based on three common assumptions:

1. That sex is necessary

2. That relationships must be monogamous

3. That sex equals penis-in-vagina penetration resulting in orgasm.

Meg John explains how this sets up a problem (sustaining sex in relationships) to which only a very limited set of solutions are possible. Sex advisers often tie themselves in knots trying to make suggestions within these constraints.

The presentation explores why it is vital to start thinking about sex in a much more expansive way than this. Drawing on her own attempts at making more inclusive sex advice, Meg John explores what sex advice might look like if focused more on pleasure, consent, and expanding erotic imaginations.

Dr. Meg John Barker is a writer, academic, counsellor and activist specialising in sex and relationships. Meg John is a senior lecturer in psychology at the Open University and has published many academic books and papers on topics including non-monogamous relationships, sadomasochism, counselling, and mindfulness, as well as co-editing the journal Psychology & Sexuality. They were the lead author of The Bisexuality Report, which has informed UK policy and practice around bisexuality. They are involved in running many public events on sexuality and relationships, including Sense about Sex, Critical Sexology, and Gender & Sexuality Talks.

Meg John is also a UKCP accredited therapist working with gender and sexually diverse clients. Their 2013 book Rewriting the Rules is a friendly guide love, sex and relationships, and they blog about these matters on

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